The conspiracy theories about how and why Nigeria’s vice president, Yemi Osibanjo, is “being systematically stripped of all powers”( Afenifere) are more dramatically enacted on Twitter, a social media that is not so popular among Nigerians but just as verile all the same. Because Mr Osibanjo is a bugbear and admired by a very few, the comments range from the abrasive to the ridiculous. All told, they provide a comic relief, of a sort.
Below are a few.
For those familiar with Nigeria in the last 4 years, Femi Fani-Kayode is something of an incubus to the current government and I am taking the liberty of placing his tweets above the rest.
“If the short man doesn’t resign within 6 months they will soon be sending him to wash toilets. U came in on the same ticket, u sold your soul, u betrayed ur people, ur tribe, ur region and ur faith and you sucked ur boss’ rectum for 4 yrs!Look at what u got in return!Shame on u!
Amb. Ayo Oke, the fmr. DG NIA, took care of you. He paid your bills and protected you. He kept all your dirty little secrets.He gave you wise counsel and comforted you even when you shed tears and said you couldn’t take it anymore.All this yet you sold him down the river…(1/3)
…Your fingers have finally been caught in the cookey bar and your benefactors and detractors have begun their work. They have demoted you, humiliated you, used you and dumped you. By the time they finish with you you will wish that you had never been born… (2/3). .
Worse still Oke is no longer there to help you.Poor chap.Politics is a terrible thing when compared to the legal profession.This is especially so when you are a Prof. of Law. At least you can go back to your pastoral work at RCCG when all else fails. My prayers are with u”.
“Dear Pastor @ProfOsinbajo,
A proverb says ‘it is the way you dress that makes your in law ask you to help him pound yam’.
You were on the BALLOT with General @MBuhari. The CABAL were NOT. Don’t let them reduce you to a YAM POUNDER at Aso Rock!”@SheddyKoko.
“Osinbajo’s office has been rendered impotent by this Fulani Cabals more especially the De-facto President Nigeria never had Abba Kyari; The Chief of staff who dictates all that happen in Nigeria with or without PMB’s consent. Osinbajo only attends funerals.What a rascal nation”
And when you think the jokes get too stretched, you get this:@PDPVanguard.
“Guys, let’s settle this long argument now. Who is the most powerful Vice President among the two @MBuhari’s VP:
1 Malam Abba Kyari, Vice President administration
2 Prof Yemi Osibanjo, Vice President Academics”
“Following the formation of a new brilliant Economic Management Team by @MBuhari, I heard that VP Yemi Osinbajo, LLB, LLM, PhD, SAN, La Prof will now fully concentrate on condolence visits & tradermoni. Nice idea because mortality rate in Nigeria has doubled with PMB in office.”
And this too:
If you eat with the devil, you need a very long spoon so that you can keep your distance.
If you mix with bad people, you should be careful not to be influenced by them.
He was happy to use trader moni program to buy votes… today the reward is here.
@SEGA ‘My heart goes out to Prof. Osinbajo, I said as much but folks thought I was dissing him. They won’t let him handle anything but irrelevances.” -Segun Awosanya June 11, 2015.@andridayo. “Now it’s Osibanjo’s turn, very soon it will get to Tinubu and Adams Oshiomhole. the game has just begun. #2023race . Say baba.
@angryman. “Osinbajo Will Soon Wash Toilets, If He Doesn’t Resign”.
The theories will go on and on until a crescendo of a noisy proportion is reached. And some already say that the noise level will only come down when and if the Vice President resigns. Will that happen? Well, this is Nigeria of 2019. Is there a cabal? Again, anything is possible in today’s Nigeria.
And how is Mr Osibanjo’s mentor, Bola Tinubu, taking the whole thing? We might need to check Twitter.